Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Roller Coasters and Simple Pleasures

I have gone from the Twilight Zone to riding a roller coaster. I feel like I am being whipped and jolted, thrown to head dizzing highs and then experience stomach dropping lows. My feelings range from anger, gratitude, despair, hope and everything in between. I don't know how to do this.  

I was so grateful I was able to be home this past weekend with my family, to listen to our church leaders in General Conference.  I felt strengthened to endure this trial ahead, and endure it the way God wants me to, to learn what I need to learn.  I am grateful for family and friends, so many people serving our family.  Thank you. A dear friend gave me a sign quoting the scripture, "Be still and know that I am God."  I am trying to be still.  

I am so grateful for yesterday. It was "normal."  It is the first day in over a month that I was well enough to get my kids off to school. I wanted to do it alone before I went back to the Mayo Clinic. 

As I was driving Andrew to school I felt free for just a moment, enjoying the dialogue between a three and a four year old about fire trucks.  I felt so blessed that I could be there at that moment being a mother.  Just like when I held Sam in the emergency room a week earlier, with a split head, just grateful I could be there to hold him when he needed me. 

After I got back from dropping off Andrew at preschool, Sammy really wanted to bake with me. He loves to help me in the kitchen. I was feeling exhausted from the morning, so after a small rest Sam and I made banana bread together.  He was so proud to share his banana bread with his siblings.  

Later, as I layed down, worn out from simply getting my kids off to school and making banana bread, I was angry that such simple things exhausted me, yet grateful I could be there with them. 

I am not there with them now. It breaks my heart when Bill tells me Sammy woke up at 2:00 am wanting me. It broke my heart as I left yesterday afternoon for Mayo, Andrew with his big, brown eyes, questioned me,"You sick Mommy? You sick?"  And yet, my broken heart is mended when I think of the simple pleasures and joys I had yesterday, taking my kids to school and making banana bread. 

"Be still and know that I am God."


Saturday, October 3, 2015

The Mayo Clinic Maiden Voyage

Posted by Bill:

The Mayo Clinic – Chapter One

We arrived home from Mayo just before 11pm last night after two days of tests and a comprehensive consultation. Here is a brief summary of the last two days and what the next steps will be.

We arrived in Rochester after leaving our children in capable hands and left for the ~250 mile venture to Rochester. Interestingly, the fastest trail to Rochester from our home in Bettendorf is through Waterloo, Iowa (our home from October 2005-May 2008) so it felt like we were passing familiar terrain for a good portion of our trip to Minnesota. We arrived shortly after midnight early on Wednesday morning. We made the venture to the Mayo campus to find this world class facility in the middle of a small very typical mid-western town. This town of ~100,000 was originally a stop point between two river cities (Twin Cities and Dubuque, IA) and as the result of a Tornado in 1883, William Mayo, built onto a family medical practice to establish a hospital to care for those who were injured in that storm. Since then the Mayo has developed into a world class medical facility. It is the first and largest integrated nonprofit medical group practice in the world, employing more than 3,800 physicians and scientists and 50,900 allied health staff. It spends over $500 million a year on research. (Wiki – Mayo Clinic)

Day one was test day - bloodwork, MRI, consultation. I have never experienced an MRI before so I asked if I could go with Allyson so I could meet the GE Machine that would help with the procedure. I also learned that the machine is not a quiet, serene experience. I found the following clip to better understand Allyson’s explanation of the adventure, except her head was in a cage to hold it still.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oI9YnhPNcQ

We found a quant place for an early dinner and waited patiently for day two.

Day Two started with a PET Scan, (positron emission tomography scan). It is a type of imaging test. It uses a radioactive substance called a tracer to look for disease in the body – in Allyson’s case cancer tissue. After the PET Scan we met with Dr. Villasboas and Dr Markcovic to discuss the situation. After a comprehensive review of Allyson’s medical history we discussed the cancer. We learned that the PET scan showed the cancer spreading to her brain, her left tonsil, and some tissue adjacent to her diaphragm – in addition to the tumor that we already knew about in her left lung. The tumor in the left lung was applying pressure on critical air passage that created infection and brought the pneumonia (Dr called it obstructive pneumonia). We were told if the tumor was shifted even slightly it may have continued to go completely undetected. So, in this case pneumonia brought the cancer diagnostics so we are grateful. The treatment plan will come in three phases.

Phase 1: They can’t treat the cancer until they get rid of the infection. So, Allyson is on heavy antibiotics and they will do a procedure to drain her lung of infection next week. They will also do a small procedure on her tonsil.

Phase 2: Radiation. They will treat the different tumors will different kinds of radiation. We don’t know all the details of this now, but will learn more in two weeks when we meet with the neurosurgeon and the radiologist oncologist.

Phase 3: Drugs. Chemotherapy will not help Allyson, so she will have a new type of drug, immunology. It is basically where they turn your own immune system into Superman and try to kill the cancer that way. These are all new drugs and some patients are having great results, living longer than two years, but they don’t really know how Allyson will respond. They are doing further testing on the biopsy to see which if any of these drugs might work. We are hopeful that Allyson will respond to these new drugs, so that is where we need your faith and prayers. The melanoma research field is well funded and a lot of exciting things are happening, so that is all good news for us.

We are both saddened and encouraged after going to Mayo as we try to figure out what this all means for our family. We realized that this is going to be a long marathon.  Thank you for your continued faith, prayers and service.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Twilight Zone

I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone. I am watching someone else's life, someone else's diagnosis. It can't be me, but it is me. Accepting reality has been a challenge. When the Mayo Clinic examined the biopsy and confirmed the diagnosis, I felt like I was playing tag and I actually got caught, rather than slipping out of the grasp of the seeker.  I was hoping small town Iowa pathologist wasn't competent, got it wrong, but it is Stage IV matastic Melanoma and I have to accept it. 

I haven't been feeling well for months, so long I can't really remember. I know planting my garden this spring felt like work, something highly unusual for me where normally working in the yard is invigorating.  Is it possible for a mother of 5 children not to be exhausted, tired and out of breath?  

About a month ago I got a really bad cough, no other symptoms, but it just wouldn't go away.  I went to the doctor, just a virus.  The next week I got even sicker, this time with a fever and a cough. I was at a church baptism with William and I felt awful and knew something wasn't right. I stopped on the way home, with William playing on my phone in the waiting room, the doctor didn't know what was wrong. It didn't sound like pneumonia, but he decided to do a chest X-ray just to make sure everything was ok.   He came back and informed me I had a tumor the size of a tennis ball in my upper left lung, in addition to pneumonia caused by the blockage. I needed a CAT scan and further testing, thus started my Twighlt filled journey.

As I start, my focus is to seek God's strength, having faith in Him, knowing he is a God of miracles.  I want to align my will with His, learn what He wants me to learn, become who He wants me to become. I want to live, I want to be a mother and raise my children. I want to be a wife, daughter, sister and friend.  All of which is possible, I believe, because of God and the love, faith and prayers from many of you, God's earthy Angels. Thank you for everything everyone is doing to support us during this time. 

I will update this blog as we go through this trial. I so appreciate everyone's notes, emails, texts, etc. but it is difficult to respond to all, so please forgive me. 

FYI:
 Here are the email update messages Bill sent our family during the past week.  

September 21, 2015
I wanted to provide a brief update on the latest with Allyson.  We learned about the biopsy analysis this morning from the needle lung biopsy that was completed last Wednesday.   The Pulmonologist called this morning to tell us that the diagnosis is Melanoma cancer that has metastasized to the lung - so the fact that it is in the lung makes the diagnosis Stage 4 cancer.  The Pulmonologist encouraged us to get to the Mayo Clinic as soon as possible for further diagnostics and to determine a treatment plan.   Fortunately,  Omi's Bishop studied and worked at the Mayo clinic so Bishop Allen introduced us today to a Dr. that is the head of Oncology and Radiology at the Mayo Clinic.  Dr. Foote is a BYU grad and is the Stake President in Rochester, MN and has known the Allen's for years.  Dr. Foote is going to look at Allyson's data and determine who at the Mayo clinic is best qualified to provide guidance on the next steps.  We learned that there is no standard therapy for cancer of this kind but that the Mayo Clinic has a significant number of research options that will be able to provide some options for treatment.  Obviously, we have a lot more to assess before we get to that point but we are so grateful for Bishop Allen for opening a big door at the Mayo so quickly.   We are getting all the records put together to send to Dr Foote's office tomorrow.  The office will need 24 hours to assess and then we can have our initial consultation.  So I am optimistic that we may be able to have that visit even yet this week.  If not this week, it will be early next week.  Allyson still has pneumonia and is continuing on antibiotics for now.
 
We sat down with Ruth, Grace, and William tonightafter Ruth/Grace returned from music to share with them the news.  We told them that it was diagnosed as skin cancer that has moved to the lungs and that we were able to get to see one of the best Dr to determine next steps.  We did not discuss risks or other unknowns at this point.  We encouraged them to be open with feelings and that we would maintain open dialogue as we continue this journey.
 
We are feeling shocked by this news and it still feels surreal and how could this be our special Allyson.  We feel support from our ward and neighborhood and are taking this a day at a time for now.  
 
We appreciate your love and prayers.  I will keep you updated as we get new information.
 
Love
Bill

September 25, 2015
We wanted to update you on the latest with Allyson. We received feedback from the Mayo Clinic today after they reviewed all of Allyson's medical data and learned that we will be going to Rochester on Tuesday night for appointments next week on Wednesday, September 30th and  Thursday, October 1st.   On the 30th, the Mayo will do blood work and an MRI.  On the 1st, they will conduct the PET Scan (http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/pet-scan/basics/definition/prc-20014301)  The PET Scan will provide the data points of where cancerous tissue exists outside the lung, and hopefully pinpoint more clearly the original origin in the skin.  Later on the 1st, we will meet with the Dr. that will provide guidance on treatment options and next steps.  The Dr's name is Dr. Svetomir Markovic who is one of the principle Melanoma experts at Mayo.  Allyson found the following video that gives some perspective of Dr. Markovic and his Mayo team.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj0FIyt9qzY   The Markovic team is impressive so we feel grateful we are getting some one of the world experts to help us.  We are thankful for Dr Foote (Omi's Bishop's friend) for making this happen.  We are hopeful by this time next week we should have a decent understanding of what the next steps will be and a treatment plan.
 
 We are maintaining an open dialogue at home with our children and so far are feeling strength and peace of mind as we continue to process the surreal shock of this whole situation.  Ruth and Grace have been  "Google-ing" so this has helped drive the conversation.  We are remaining optimistic and hopeful and are maintaining a positive front to our children.  We have maintained our normal busy schedule with the activities of our five children (with lots of help)
 
We are receiving a lot of help and support from neighbors, friends, and Ward members.  Our bishop is going to conduct a Home Teaching, Visiting Teaching Council this Sunday with our HT/VT to coordinate efforts with our Ward family because so many want to help our family.  We feel a lot of love and support and we are truly grateful for so many kind people that are willing to help.
 
John Deere has been very supportive to the Senior levels of the Company for me to take whatever time I need away from work to support our family.  So I have been able to be at home to help and to hopefully ease the pressure for all.  Deere has asked that I maintain leadership for all strategy/finance issues and people issues/decisions and I have delegated all other tasks to my very capable team - so I am grateful for a good team and for my leadership who has been supportive.  I am calling into necessary meetings and my assistant is running traps on all other fronts.  We are in the middle of a year long process to negotiate a new labor agreement with the UAW so that feels pressing but so far we are managing ok on the work front.
 
We are not finalized our planning for next week yet but will update everyone once we have a plan this weekend.
 
Know that we appreciate your prayers of faith, you willingness to help, and know that we will reach out if we need anything.  
 
Please feel free to call me or reply to this email if you have any questions. The Davidson Family has been invited to participate with a Family Fast with the Nemelka's for this Sunday.  I will forward details to call in to start the fast on Saturday.
 
Love,
Bill

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The only constant is change....


Ruth, Grace and William in front of their school bus on First Day of School.


Grace in class with her teacher Ms. Davis. She is from N.Y.C.


Ruth excited for school.


Ruth in class.


Daddy, William and Grace at school.


Getting ready to leave for First Day of School.


William running to the bus stop.


William on bus.


I know, I know. I haven’t posted a blog in a very long time. I keep telling myself that 1) no one is reading it anyway and 2) the blog entries all have to be sequential. So, I can’t write about what is going on in our lives until I got caught up on Christmas, Birthday’s, Chinese New Year, End of School, summer travels, etc. Well, I realize I just need to start where I am and try to catch up later or I will never write anything! So here it goes, again…

Change. Glorious Change. While growing up the phrase, “The only constant is change,” was always ringing in our ears, it is one of my father’s favorite sayings. I have always prided myself on my adaptability and my talent of taking things in stride. The old adage, “pride comes before the fall,” certainly applies in my case. Well, I have fallen and I’ve scraped my knees too. My little William has started pre-school. I am now home alone in the mornings and feel completely lost.

School started yesterday at Access International Academy Ningbo and I bravely sent three kids off to school, well, actually Bill and I rode the bus with them. William literally ran from our house to the bus stop with Bill’s old backpack knocking him in the head on every stride. Ruth is in 4th grade, Grace in 2nd , and William in Pre-K. The temperature was a balmy 92 degrees, heat index 103, humidity 1000% , or so it felt as we turned them over to their teachers. We were all quite toasty - think Wicked Witch of the West melting, melting, melting from the water.

They all had a great first day. Ruth announced she didn’t have any homework because all they did was “get to know ya’ stuff.” Gracie got dehydrated on her first day, came home lethargic and threw up. William walked in the door, opened his backpack and declared he HAD to do his homework. He promptly got his notebook and crayons and began coloring.

Getting three kids ready to go and out the door this morning, was a little more challenging. William informed me he could do EVERYTHING himself! He washed his face, brushed his hair, got dressed (didn’t match the first time, the second time it was much better), and put on his own shoes. He was ready to go a full thirty minutes early.

Despite his promptness, he wasn’t eager to eat his breakfast. I tried to get him to eat his peanut butter toast, explaining to him that at school you can’t have food whenever you want and I didn’t want him to be hungry. He said, “O.K., Mom! I have to wait for the last bite to go down, down, down to my leg.”

About 15 minutes before leaving, he came to me with his blanket and said he thought he should stay home because he missed me SO SO much when he was at school. Ruth quickly convinced him that he wanted to go to school and he agreed. He dropped his blanket and off he went.

We walked to the bus stop, he boarded the bus, and waved wildly until the bus was no longer in sight. I turned around - wearing my pink accented exercise pants, red slip-on shoes, non-matching green shirt, unbrushed teeth and remnants of yesterday’s mascara around my eyes -and slowly walked back to the house trying to control the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I miss my three little munchkins so much; I even missed them bugging me for snacks, band-aids and constantly pointing out all their mosquito bites.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Practice makes perfect

Day our items arrived from the U.S. - William giddy to see his long, lost John Deere Gator

I used to believe in the saying, "Practice makes perfect." You know, the more you do something, the easier it gets. It's not that the task self gets easier, it's your ability to perform the task. Well, I am not sure I am drinking out of that water cooler any more. No, my absolute incompetence at moving has proved that this truth is not true for me.
Bill and I have moved way too many times. You already know this because you get my "We've moved! Here is our new address," email year after year. I am sure you are thinking, "Moved again! Those Davidsons are crazy!" Yes, we are nomads, but I am no more proficient having moved seven times in eight years than when we made our first trek from Utah to Chicago.
Throughout those many moves, I often needed rescuing as I drowned in the details, "Help!" Mom flying out, sister flying out, mom flying out, whew… This move to China was no exception; the Bettendorf, Iowa, schooner sent out an SOS signal. My niece Becca babysat our kids while we looked for a place to live in China. Bill's sister, Heather, flew out and helped us go through our Mt. Everest of stuff to determine what was Goodwill, Go to China, and Go to Storage. Tracy, also Bill's sister, helped us wrap up all our loose ends, watched kids on packing and moving days, and bought last minute items to help us survive the China Wilderness. (Thank you again for all your help!)

Bill tries to give me some perspective saying, "Well, not everyone relocates their family to China from beginning to end in a total of six weeks." Getting Chinese visas, medical visits, house hunting trip to China, selling a house in Bettendorf, sorting through every item we've ever owned, etc.

Our decision to move to China was a quick one and we still feel like we are just getting off the roller coaster. However, I have lied to myself about this before, always having a reason why this move or that move was crazy. No, I have serious moving disease; we have been in our new house about six weeks and I still have boxes, loads of junk that needs to be organized and put away and I have a full time maid that does my cleaning and laundry. What is my excuse? After careful consideration and much contemplation, I have determined that I have an allergy to unpacking moving boxes, organizing piles, and putting away the same things time after time. This allergy forces me to throw myself into other projects and activities, like playing with my kids and being the PTA president. My unpacking and organizing avoidance is one that I have yet to manage. Maybe I just need a little more practice…



Moving in day - you can see why many of our items were broken when we unpacked. We are missing many, many boxes that no one seems to know were they are. Maybe pirates seized them at sea. More paperwork for us to fill out to try and recover the value of all our lost goods. (Gracie is devastated because she is missing her stuffed penguin.)

Trip to IKEA in Shanghai with my friend Sarah. I replaced many of the lost items and I picked up just a few thousand extra little things. Can anyone leave IKEA without jepordaizing your children's college fund? IKEA and I have a love/hate relationship.


William as "box head." He loved his box head and wore it around for long periods at a time. We made a large fort out of our moving boxes.

"Box Head"

Bill and William asleep suffering from jet lag the day after we got to Shanghai.

William in Shanghai airport after the long journey. He obviously didn't mind the 14 hour flight. Twelve hours into the flight he starting crawling up and down the isles and barking like a dog.

Family with all our luggage.


William on the airplane.

Ruth and Grace on the airplane eating dinner.


Moving day at Bettendorf house. I miss my flowers.

Ruth had surgery two days before we left. She reacted negatively to the anestesia. I took care of her, throwing up, trying to direct the movers what to do with our stuff.

William taking an ice cream break. He found this gas funnel in the garage and wore it around.

Chaos in Bettendorf





Chaos in Bettendorf II

Thursday, November 5, 2009

United Nations Day















Ruth and Grace attend Access International Academy Ningbo. It is a small international school with about one-hundred thirty students from twenty-six different countries. Americans are the minority. Ruth is the only American in her class (eleven students) and Grace has one other American (ten students). Most of the students are from Korea and Japan (about 60%), next Europeans and Indians and then South Americans and last, but not least, Americans. Interesting, most of the teachers are from America and Canada.

The kids here are amazing. Most of them speak at least three languages. For example, one boy in Ruth's class has a German father and Chinese mother. One day after school we were playing on the playground. He was talking with me in perfect English, his dad walks up and he speaks to him in fluent German, then my driver spoke with him in Chinese. This is not unusual and is quite the norm. We are the backwards ones only speaking English. One of Ruth's good friends is half Italian and half Japanese. She speaks Japanese with her mom, Italian with her dad and English at school. However, most of the Asian families hire tutors and also have their children go to school on Saturday. Ruth's friend goes to another private school on Saturday so she can keep up on her Japanese. The Koreans are hard core education and are consistently asking the teachers for more homework, hire tutors, and have their children skipping grades. It is an interesting educational environment.

One of the neat events that the school holds is UN Day. It is a day celebrating the nationalities of all of its students. They have a parade of nations with each country dressing up in their native dress. (Yes, I cried when the students sang and I saw them all dressed up.) We had a very lively discussion on what should American/Canadians wear. Our girls were quite passionate about the fact they are from three countries – America, Canada, and Germany. I told them we would only do America and Canada since that is where their parents are from. So, they opted to wear 4th of July t-shirts we got at Wal-Mart this past summer. In order to marital harmony they had U.S.A. painted on one cheek and a Canadian maple leaf on the other. Ruth represented America and Grace walked with Canada. They have already figured out that next year they will switch. (We couldn't find our Canada Roots shirt for Grace since everything was still in boxes!) The people from the other countries wanted our costume to be cowboys and Indians - maybe next year.

After the parade the students go on a world tour. Each class chose a country to study in depth and then the other students go around and see their projects and what they learned. They give them passports to get stamped as they travel around. For lunch the PTA organized food from all our different countries. There was so much food, a lot of which I had never seen before so I can't even describe what it was. We did have imported cheese and salami from France, Gummi Bears and warm potato salad from Germany, salmon sushi from Japan, delicious Korean noodles, Brazilian meat, Taiwanese tea, and chili and hot dogs from the good ol' U.S.A.

It was so funny because I brought Twizlers licorice in our shipment and I thought I would share them for UN Day at school. Well, I had them sitting out and no one would take them. I kept asking the kids if they wanted some Twizlers. They all politiely declined except my girls. It took me awhile to clue in that most of the students had no idea what in the world I was offering them. So, I starting asking if they wanted some American candy. A few started taking it. Well, word on the playground spread quickly; the kids told their friends and they kept coming back for some more of the American candy.

After I was out, an Asian boy about eight years old asked me while showing me with his hands the length of a Twizlers,

"Excuse me, do you have any more of those long, skinny, red things?"

"You want some more licorice?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "I want some more of the long, skinny, red things."

I felt so bad I didn't have any more to give him. Most of the kids had never had licorice before and it is not something you can find in this part of the world. Add it to the list of things to buy when I go back to America.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Mr. Lopart and the violin lessons

Ruth waiting before the performance

Stage before performance -I wish you could see the thousands of fresh Roses and Gebera Daises they had in front of the stage


Ruth playing during performance.



William trying to melt bottle on light

Video during practice

It all started when the phone rang and the concierge informed me that they scheduled violin lessons for the following day at 6:00 p.m. Would I be able to make it? How did the people at Howard Johnson even know our girls played the violin? Well, the staff noticed when they unpacked our 1,000 bags out of the van the night we arrived. It just happened that the best violin school in Ningbo, our city of six million, was right across the street from the Howard Johnson. They pulled a few strings and the director agreed to listen to Ruth and Grace play their violins and see if they would take them on.


We met our two Chinese escorts in the lobby and crossed the street to a Soviet communist style building that was literally crumbling. We walked around what seemed in circles, out one door, into a courtyard, through another door, into a parking lot, and finally up a large set of stairs and into the small, hot and humid room. Sitting there, behind a large dusty desk was an older Chinese man with the most far reaching "comb over" I have ever seen. He looked and walked like Mr. Lopart from the cartoon Handy Many.


After a few pleasantries, he soon started barking orders in Chinese, translated by our hotel translators, and told my girls to play something. They were both nervous and very rusty (not playing for over three months) and fumbled through a few songs. He put up a book on a wobbly music stand and ordered the girls to play. I obviously didn't do a very good job explaining the "Suzuki" method of violin and how Ruth was just learning to read music and Gracie couldn't read a single note. Well, he figured it out pretty quickly and questioned all American music education. His Chinese students could read music at four and five. The earliest beginner was farther along than these two. He asked me how long and how often the girls played. I told them their lesson schedule; in China the students all have hour long lessons, no matter the age, and practice hours every day. Well, I told him that is not how it is in America. (He was very interested in where I bought Ruth's high quality violin strings. They came with the violin and I didn't realize they were anything but average.)


While the violin playing may not have impressed the Chinese teacher, William was thrilled with the music. While the girls played, he pulled up a small stool, got some paper and put it on an extra music stand rusting in the corner and proceeded to direct the music as if he were the guest conductor at the New York Philharmonic. With pencil in hand, he led the music with gusto. Our two translators had a hard time listening to Mr. Lopart, as I affectionately call him, because William's conducting was so enthralling.


At one point I literally started laughing out loud because the scene was one that even a Pulitzer Prize Novelist couldn't create – buckling laminate flooring, rusting metal, piles of dust, mosquito swarms feeding on our warm bodies, two year old leading his own orchestra, sweat dripping down my face, Mr. Lopart's comb over being misplaced by the blowing fan, two young Chinese translators trying to figure out how to nicely tell me that the expert violin teacher thinks my girls are not exactly on track to become the next Hilary Hahn, me winking and giving the girls thumbs up encouraging them on, all the while curious Chinese students and parents smashed their faces against the window in the door like we were animals in a zoo that they paid and entrance fee to observe.


After all of this excitement, Mr. Lopart told us to pack up our violins and go. He was going to show us how it was done. We walked back through the maze of corridors, staircases, courtyards and walked into an auditorium with an orchestra practicing some music. We sat down and he showed us how it was supposed to be done, Chinese style.


Oh, if you think the violin adventure ends there, you are mistaken. We made arrangements that one of Mr. Lopart's English speaking protégé's would teach Ruth and Grace violin. All was rolling along, until one week our teacher, Mr. Yu, informed us that Mr. Lopart wanted Ruth to play the violin in front of thousands of people at the premiere concert hall in Ningbo. They were holding an International Fashion show and they were asked to perform there. Oh, and by the way, she only had five days to learn the piece that the Chinese students had been working on for months. She was to dress like a "princess," while all the other students wore black pants and sequin vests. The teacher wanted to meet with her every day so she could memorize a simplified version of the piece being played. Ruth was hesitant at first and then agreed. He also told me more than once, I am not sure if he was trying to give me advice, that his other students' mothers hit their children if they miss a note and it helps them play the piece perfectly. Not exactly my style. The Chinese take playing the violin so seriously because it is one way for the children to get a head in life. For some, it is their only hope in life. Without it, there will be no career, no college, no money, no marriage. It is literally their ticket to survive. Luckily, we are fortunate enough to have options and don't have to live with that type of pressure. Anyway, Ruth worked very hard learning the difficult music, getting up at six in the morning, practicing after school, etc., however, hopefully for the learning experience, not because this is how she will survive in life.


The day of the performance was a culture shock for all of us. We walked in and we were surrounded my Chinese children ages 6-16. I mean literally surrounded. Mr. Lopart and Mr. Yu continually shooed the kids away, but like flies around a summer BBQ, they always came circling back. The whole afternoon and evening we were the only Caucasians in sight. Ruth was constantly bombarded with curious kids, looking at her stuff, watching her, and trying out their few English words, "Hello! How are you?" The few parents that were allowed through security into the event were, I shall say INTENSE, and the rest of the mothers waited outside screaming to be let in. (Even in China, boys will be boys; I saw a small group of boys trying to melt empty plastic water bottles under hot performance lights. Unfortunately, William saw this and also tried this experiment. ) The fashion show was Broadway like – with a Chinese twist. Ruth was the focus of the violin performance, specifically positioned so she could stay on track by watching the bowing of two other players.


While the whole thing was a good growth experience for Ruth, I have a little pit in my stomach knowing she was not there because of the way she played the violin, but because of the way she looked. Over two hundred students were selected to play for the show, but only one hundred could play in the end because they didn't have enough sequin vests. Apparently, the mother's of the other players almost rioted. Ruth was asked just a few days before, when the other Chinese students worked long and hard. It just doesn't seem fair.