New Year's Resolutions

I stared at the computer screen wondering what to write.  It stared back.  My mind was blank.  What does one write down for a New Year's Resolution?  You would think I would write something like, "Live!"  "Beat Cancer!"  or some other positive notion of conquering the disease that is ravishing my body.  However, I can't.  I don't even know if I'll live until 2017.  Whether I live or die is completely out of my control.  I find out this week if Keytruda is working.  It worked for President Jimmy Carter, so maybe it will work for me.  I am not giving up or stopped trying to be positive, but how can I set a goal to make my medicine work, to "Conquer Cancer!"  What goals should I set under the circumstances?

I started with, "Get out of bed everyday."  Well, I have a hard time keeping that one.  Some days are good, or even really good, and some days are bad, really bad. No rhyme or reason to it, just is.  I never know what tomorrow brings.  Scratch that one.  Next resolution, well, I had a hard time getting to a next one.  Every idea that I came to was quickly eliminated, but I have to have New Year's Resolutions, things to look forward to, goals to reach.

I realized the reason I struggled to set my New Year's Resolutions is that I was trying to plan for a future that I may or may not have.  Bill has often preached goals need to be SMART.  Specific.  Measurable.  Achievable.  Relevant. Time based.  So for now, I settled on these:

"Find the joy in life and acknowledge the blessings of each day." 
(I have so many blessings, I just need to focus on them. Finding joy is a bit harder while being in pain, but that is why it is a resolution!)
 
"Be the type of person God wants you to be right now."
(This means making my heart and mind right with God.)

"Serve someone every day."
(Enduring is often inward focused, I want to look outward to those around me.  With limited physical resources I am being creative.)

"Emotionally connect with each member of my family every day."
(It is all about the people, I love my peeps.)

I set my resolutions just for a day, for the present. As I try to connect, serve, find joy and express gratitude just for the day, hopefully those days will turn into weeks, then months and then years.  2016 is really just made of days, hours and minutes and that is how I will try to live it.


Spent half the day in bed with these two little rascals... keeping my resolution.




Here are some pictures from the Holidays.  We had a great Christmas at home, which was good because I was sick most of the time.

Christmas Eve (the beautiful tree was a gift from a friend and her dad, which she hauled back from Minnesota on top of her minivan)

I was grateful my mom, Omi, could celebrate with us. The boys are wearing their German clothes, we try to celebrate a traditional German Christmas Eve.


We have a family tradition that we go to church every Christmas Eve,  It is one of my favorite traditions.  This year we choose Our Savior Lutheran Church which had a beautiful service.


We spent New Year's Eve in the emergency room, not for me mind you, but for Sam.  He got a concussion when he slammed into our steel basketball standard while sledding.  He is going to be fine, but it was pretty scary.  I was really sick that night too, so I just snuggled up right by him in his bed.